A Goodbye

Every goodbye had made me remembered the last day of the previous year. while a good number of people were rejoicing and making resolutions, I was left alone battling with a Goodbye I could have prevented.
Today looks exactly like that very day, I woke up to a goodbye and to putting an end to somethings I had began with so much enthusiasm.
I picked up my notebook in preparation for today's dealings, I do this often when I found the day so inspiring, I wanted to write down a couple of lines that popped into my mind as I view through the window the beauty of a new day.
I was unable to finish the lines when I discovered I just finished using the last page of my notebook. This is significant to me as I began to dwell on seeing the end of things you once thought would last  forever. I got a new notebook by all means, this is because I couldn't wait to put down the lines (who knows they might be of great value to me or someone someday).
Another significant scene came up, I realized I am actually going to read the last page of a novel I started days ago not only that, today is the last day in the month of October. Everything around me speaks a goodbye to me. Like I am getting expired or probably needs a new life, like I am in another fast planet that eat time up so fast.
I was trying to figure out why and how ironically could a day start with an ending.
Nico! Nico! the voice from the gate made me know how deep I had gone into thought.
"You really need to handle this with a strong heart" Zoe said as I open the gate.
I was lost right at the spot, even tho I don't really understand the message she was going to pass.
I couldn't speak a word, all I could do was a stare at her lips as she announced the death of Ali


Written by Olatayo Nickiwonder Iyanuoluwa

A writer

Most people think we write about our shadow
Or the bright light in the heart.
Some think we write about our pain
Or the pitch of joy that fling one about
Others believe we live in a fantasy of words
Or in a shallow of daydreaming.
That we have a world of dynamisms.
Which changes with time and gives one no identity.
That we dig through our fear and try to paint it as our courage.
That we are just the opposition of our true nature. We are confused but we blame it on lines
That little truth exist in us while others are the life of a troll
Some say we're beautiful in and out and all writes portrays our experience.
 Noone but few never understand the mental anguish of seeing blankness.
While the entire of your vicinity speaks loudly
No one could see the pain that drags you into another realm while all are sound in rest
Noone could see fear that Scrabble the major of what your head whispers
None could see the swallowed word your pen refused to put down.  How you turn the whole of the story and make it what the phobia demands.

There is a pain of a less sleep and there is a fear of a less truth.
There is a conflict of exposing and disclosing.

Poet: Olatayo Nickiwonder Iyanuoluwa

WHERE I FOUND MYSELF

Here is where I found myself;
Amidst ponderous obligations.
"No you can't stay out"
you are weak and the night is for the strong

Here is where I found myself;
Amidst constraints of choice and of voice.
"you are a fallible being"
And you are created to watch!

Here is where I found myself;
Amidst inequalities of uttermost value.
"you are indecorous and a disgrace to our family"
You lay with a man who has not bought you!

Here is where I found myself;
Amidst decit of love from all because of my samototype
"Save our money and go with the rich"
You have little value to add to the clan.

Here is where I found myself;
Amidst folks that bury there own dreams
"We are feeble, who will watch us become light?"
We are what our head made of us

Here is where I found myself;
Amidst a life I can't live; air I can't breathe
"I will disown you, if you refuse to go with Alabi".
He is the surety to your brother's education.

Here is where I found myself;
Amidst no life of my own;
"Your husband is your head"he has the right to bring in another woman"
You are the woman and you dare not do the same.

Here is where I found myself.
Where I speak this piece to myself
hide it in the shelve.
because the whole world pretend to be deaf


Poet: Olatayo Nickiwonder Iyanuoluwa

Art by @ojebiyiseyi

LOVE AND PAIN

          LOVE AND PAIN
              Season 1( Episode 3)
I could barely count my toes when I had a bang on the main entrance to my apartment. I opened just to get a yell from Victoria, why the heck did you give me such a call that almost send me somewhere I don't want to go anytime soon? Please Vicky, spare me that and let me vomit the words before a disaster beyond control happens. With shock and anxiety all on her face she pounced on the sofa I sat on. I've never seen you this way, talk to me what's going on? Is Dire filing a break up or what? All I could do as she was saying all of this was just to hold back the fears and tears in my voice. Babes, I'm losing my mind. I can't get hold of myself. Lolu is in town and. . . was all I could say before Victoria got up the chair giving groovy dance moves to the hit song trending at the time. Will you just stop and hear me out? I yelled. Babe, wetin dey sup na? You suppose dey happy now? You've waited for Lolu in years, I thought Dire was just to while away time. I. . .I, I fell over board love, beyond what I wanted with Dire. Plus I'm freaking confuse right now because Lolu won't take no chills at all. He's asking for love, love that stays forever, gosh. We had a kiss on our first date. This words at the ears of Vicky was like hell broke loose because she gave a lifetime drama in two minutes, the jubilations was much that the gatekeeper had to check if all was well
Vicky what do I do? Where do I go from here, where do I put Dire, where? Calm down dear, see the best thing to do sometimes is to do nothing. Just enjoy the moment, get the best fun out of it while it lasts, she said. Don't overly stress yourself, you will be alright las las. You're a beautiful girl anyone will go heads over heels for now, she said tickling my waist. We bursted out laughing as she puts up a funny stupid look on her face. I know you'd always make me forget my troubles, I said smiling. You're one in a million for me, stay with me forever baby. You know I'd always be for you lovey, she replied. Yeah, I've got a good juicy news. I'm repping the department in a conference soonest as the best graduating student. She wowed and gave me a scent giving tight hug, congrats baby.
Oh, she got me out of my volcanic hours of the day, I sighed sitting on my bed to retire for the night when I remembered I hadn't heard from Dire all day, no call nor text. I picked my phone to pull a call through. Love of my life, you just left me to tour the stressful day all alone. No calls or messages, why now? I said to Dire as he giggled and said I'm sorry I've just been busy. Your words are cold, is anything the matter. No, not at all just a couple of things at the office. How was your outing? At this point I couldn't imagine what will be the out come of this conversation. I held my breath for some minutes and said it was fine, a good reunion though. Dire smiled, I hope that was all that happened? he said. What do you mean by that, were you expecting something more or what are you insinuating?
Nothing baby, but we both know what Lolu's presence means. Let's not deceive each other and point these issues out straight. Well, I care less. All I want you to know is I love you and not willing to trade you for anything, not for a lost but now found love, not for anything on earth or underneath. And I'm so ready and prepared for whatsoever it is that it will require of me. Baby, I can't lose you,I can't just afford it, it's too expensive. Just don't breach my trust, please.
I was dumb to give a response to all he said and managed to change the course of discussion. We had out chit chat for over sixty minutes, when two heart that loves meet you should know what next.     
            The ray of light coming in through the window blinds was the first touch that woke me up to life on a Sunday morning. There's a whole lot to do, like every other morning. Saturday is just destined to be a chore filled day for others but for me it's Sunday but the lazy ass in me doesn't want to leave the comfort of my executive beddings. I was still in bed for about one hour after I opened my eyes, grabbing the pillow so tight to my body.
After a long day full of cleaning and preparations for the new week, I retired to bed after my sumptuous yummy home cooked meal I made for myself. I barely find time to do that weekdays, I'm always on the run, tight schedule. The tingling bell ringtone from my phone brought Lolu's call. Hey baby, you just ignored my messages since yesterday. I've i done any wrong? Lolu, no, not that. I just feel you should give me some space to breathe, you're choking me. I don't mean it to be bad but please give me time. I have a relationship I'm in right now and I don't think. . . I'm confused. He was about talking when Dire's call was coming in from my other phone. Lolu spare me some minutes please I said to him as I grabbed my ringing phone.


written by Olatayo Nickiwonder Iyanuoluwa and Olabisi Folashade

LOVE AND PAIN

                    LOVE and PAIN
                 (Season 1 Episode 2)
by: @nicki_wonder & @shadeey_amazing


I have never been in this kind of dilemma and I thought for the first time those who actually engaged in a double dating might not be wrong as well, who knows maybe they really found themselves in this same shoe I am.
Lolu still on his kneel, I know this is going to be difficult and I am ready to stand by you as you make your decision, he said as he stood up to me. He held my two hands and maintains a direct but romantic stare at me. No one uttered a word for few seconds, all we both could do was a stare but anyone who is familiar with heart beat communication would know Lolu and I had gone in talks even with the silent.
He took a step closer to me without lowering his stares.
"what are you trying to do"? I merely finished that statement then I felt a warm,soft and sweet touching on my lips. He kissed me and I couldn't resist his succulent and dulcet lips as much as I try to stop myself from kissing him back,  my feelings is just  too big for me to control at the moment. The music from my ringing phone brought us to sanity. who could that be I thought for a while as I pretend to act as if nothing really happened. To be honest
this moment had been a fantasy for me right from the high school and even after we departed I still found myself daydreaming about this, but a lot changed in the way I pictured our first kiss, I never for once thought there could be a 'but' not even from me.
That's Dire I said to myself as I rushed to pick up my phone but it was a bit of surprise for me as i found out the caller is Ernest. Ernest has been the only visible rival Dire always have in mind,he is always scared of the fact that we spent so much time together at the office and we equally have lot of things in common which has actually been the reason I still hold on to our friendship. It wasn't really Ernest call that got me surprised and bothered but the fact that it wasn't Dire. Like I just kissed another guy who is not my boyfriend and I had no hint of suspicion from Dire. I mean Dire and I are so connected that we sense any form of threat to our relationship as soon as its about to happen.
I could vividly remember a time like that with Ernest in the office, he was supposed to help me with stuffs I really couldn't handle at the office, Ernest almost force forced a kiss on me before Dire entered and got me saved. He said he felt it in his spirit that something is about happening to me so he had to rush to my work place and there has been times I equally rescued him from such because I felt he was in danger also. This has been the extent to which I am connected with Dire. But how he couldn't feel anything this time around got me worried.
Lolu was busy smiling and feeling himself as if nothing we did was wrong, I was so irritated that I couldn't stand his presence again.
This is not right! No No! I told myself and came back to life. I stood up and told Lolu I needed to leave, he tried to persuade me to stay so that he could drop me at my place but I insisted' I told him i need to leave and i left the eatery.
leaving the eatery I wouldn't stand to see Dire also at the moment, all I wished to do was to run away from these two guys driving me crazy. I found my way back to my own apartment which was about 50km from the eatery, I stay in a self contain apartment which is largely occupied by workaholic set of people who  will leave home as early as 5am and come back as late as 11pm, this include a Saturday like this, with this I knew I was going home to nobody except the gatekeeper. As the gatekeeper opened the main entrance and we exchanged greetings, he handed over a letter he said some man dropped for me, I collected it from him but was not ready to go through another drama of reading a strange letter. I dropped the letter on the table as I got into my apartment leaving it unread. Trying to settle and regain my sanity, I had a shower and pick up the last apple I have left the the refrigerator.
Victoria is the only person that can understand and as well save me from this, Victoria and I have been good friends far back as primary school, She seem to be the only friend I've kept for that long and for that reason I believe she had the real picture of me and she understands very well my personality. It's Saturday and the time was about 5'oclock in the evening.
'She must be back from work'
I quickly picked up my phone, dialed her number 3times before she eventually responded.
Babe, what's up, are you back from work? please make it to my place tonight, I really need someone to talk to. I didn't give her a chance to agree or disagree, I hanged up and retired to bed.
Then I remembered the unread letter, I grabbed it with the last drop of strength in me.
Pulling the main message out of a medium sized brown envelope. I was amazed with my lips wide apart as I read through the content of the letter
  (Watch out for Episode 3)
      Thank you

LOVE AND PAIN

                    LOVE and PAIN
                 (Season 1 Episode 2)
by: @nicki_wonder & @shadeey_amazing


I have never been in this kind of dilemma and I thought for the first time those who actually engaged in a double dating might not be wrong as well, who knows maybe they really found themselves in this same shoe I am.
Lolu still on his kneel, I know this is going to be difficult and I am ready to stand by you as you make your decision, he said as he stood up to me. He held my two hands and maintains a direct but romantic stare at me. No one uttered a word for few seconds, all we both could do was a stare but anyone who is familiar with heart beat communication would know Lolu and I had gone in talks even with the silent.
He took a step closer to me without lowering his stares.
"what are you trying to do"? I merely finished that statement then I felt a warm,soft and sweet touching on my lips. He kissed me and I couldn't resist his succulent and dulcet lips as much as I try to stop myself from kissing him back,  my feelings is just  too big for me to control at the moment. The music from my ringing phone brought us to sanity. who could that be I thought for a while as I pretend to act as if nothing really happened. To be honest
this moment had been a fantasy for me right from the high school and even after we departed I still found myself daydreaming about this, but a lot changed in the way I pictured our first kiss, I never for once thought there could be a 'but' not even from me.
That's Dire I said to myself as I rushed to pick up my phone but it was a bit of surprise for me as i found out the caller is Ernest. Ernest has been the only visible rival Dire always have in mind,he is always scared of the fact that we spent so much time together at the office and we equally have lot of things in common which has actually been the reason I still hold on to our friendship. It wasn't really Ernest call that got me surprised and bothered but the fact that it wasn't Dire. Like I just kissed another guy who is not my boyfriend and I had no hint of suspicion from Dire. I mean Dire and I are so connected that we sense any form of threat to our relationship as soon as its about to happen.
I could vividly remember a time like that with Ernest in the office, he was supposed to help me with stuffs I really couldn't handle at the office, Ernest almost force forced a kiss on me before Dire entered and got me saved. He said he felt it in his spirit that something is about happening to me so he had to rush to my work place and there has been times I equally rescued him from such because I felt he was in danger also. This has been the extent to which I am connected with Dire. But how he couldn't feel anything this time around got me worried.
Lolu was busy smiling and feeling himself as if nothing we did was wrong, I was so irritated that I couldn't stand his presence again.
This is not right! No No! I told myself and came back to life. I stood up and told Lolu I needed to leave, he tried to persuade me to stay so that he could drop me at my place but I insisted' I told him i need to leave and i left the eatery.
leaving the eatery I wouldn't stand to see Dire also at the moment, all I wished to do was to run away from these two guys driving me crazy. I found my way back to my own apartment which was about 50km from the eatery, I stay in a self contain apartment which is largely occupied by workaholic set of people who  will leave home as early as 5am and come back as late as 11pm, this include a Saturday like this, with this I knew I was going home to nobody except the gatekeeper. As the gatekeeper opened the main entrance and we exchanged greetings, he handed over a letter he said some man dropped for me, I collected it from him but was not ready to go through another drama of reading a strange letter. I dropped the letter on the table as I got into my apartment leaving it unread. Trying to settle and regain my sanity, I had a shower and pick up the last apple I have left the the refrigerator.
Victoria is the only person that can understand and as well save me from this, Victoria and I have been good friends far back as primary school, She seem to be the only friend I've kept for that long and for that reason I believe she had the real picture of me and she understands very well my personality. It's Saturday and the time was about 5'oclock in the evening.
'She must be back from work'
I quickly picked up my phone, dialed her number 3times before she eventually responded.
Babe, what's up, are you back from work? please make it to my place tonight, I really need someone to talk to. I didn't give her a chance to agree or disagree, I hanged up and retired to bed.
Then I remembered the unread letter, I grabbed it with the last drop of strength in me.
Pulling the main message out of a medium sized brown envelope. I was amazed with my lips wide apart as I read through the content of the letter
  (Watch out for Episode 3)
      Thank you

LOVE AND PAIN

                    LOVE and PAIN
                 (Season 1 Episode 2)
by: @nicki_wonder & @shadeey_amazing


I have never been in this kind of dilemma and I thought for the first time those who actually engaged in a double dating might not be wrong as well, who knows maybe they really found themselves in this same shoe I am.
Lolu still on his kneel, I know this is going to be difficult and I am ready to stand by you as you make your decision, he said as he stood up to me. He held my two hands and maintains a direct but romantic stare at me. No one uttered a word for few seconds, all we both could do was a stare but anyone who is familiar with heart beat communication would know Lolu and I had gone in talks even with the silent.
He took a step closer to me without lowering his stares.
"what are you trying to do"? I merely finished that statement then I felt a warm,soft and sweet touching on my lips. He kissed me and I couldn't resist his succulent and dulcet lips as much as I try to stop myself from kissing him back,  my feelings is just  too big for me to control at the moment. The music from my ringing phone brought us to sanity. who could that be I thought for a while as I pretend to act as if nothing really happened. To be honest
this moment had been a fantasy for me right from the high school and even after we departed I still found myself daydreaming about this, but a lot changed in the way I pictured our first kiss, I never for once thought there could be a 'but' not even from me.
That's Dire I said to myself as I rushed to pick up my phone but it was a bit of surprise for me as i found out the caller is Ernest. Ernest has been the only visible rival Dire always have in mind,he is always scared of the fact that we spent so much time together at the office and we equally have lot of things in common which has actually been the reason I still hold on to our friendship. It wasn't really Ernest call that got me surprised and bothered but the fact that it wasn't Dire. Like I just kissed another guy who is not my boyfriend and I had no hint of suspicion from Dire. I mean Dire and I are so connected that we sense any form of threat to our relationship as soon as its about to happen.
I could vividly remember a time like that with Ernest in the office, he was supposed to help me with stuffs I really couldn't handle at the office, Ernest almost force forced a kiss on me before Dire entered and got me saved. He said he felt it in his spirit that something is about happening to me so he had to rush to my work place and there has been times I equally rescued him from such because I felt he was in danger also. This has been the extent to which I am connected with Dire. But how he couldn't feel anything this time around got me worried.
Lolu was busy smiling and feeling himself as if nothing we did was wrong, I was so irritated that I couldn't stand his presence again.
This is not right! No No! I told myself and came back to life. I stood up and told Lolu I needed to leave, he tried to persuade me to stay so that he could drop me at my place but I insisted' I told him i need to leave and i left the eatery.
leaving the eatery I wouldn't stand to see Dire also at the moment, all I wished to do was to run away from these two guys driving me crazy. I found my way back to my own apartment which was about 50km from the eatery, I stay in a self contain apartment which is largely occupied by workaholic set of people who  will leave home as early as 5am and come back as late as 11pm, this include a Saturday like this, with this I knew I was going home to nobody except the gatekeeper. As the gatekeeper opened the main entrance and we exchanged greetings, he handed over a letter he said some man dropped for me, I collected it from him but was not ready to go through another drama of reading a strange letter. I dropped the letter on the table as I got into my apartment leaving it unread. Trying to settle and regain my sanity, I had a shower and pick up the last apple I have left the the refrigerator.
Victoria is the only person that can understand and as well save me from this, Victoria and I have been good friends far back as primary school, She seem to be the only friend I've kept for that long and for that reason I believe she had the real picture of me and she understands very well my personality. It's Saturday and the time was about 5'oclock in the evening.
'She must be back from work'
I quickly picked up my phone, dialed her number 3times before she eventually responded.
Babe, what's up, are you back from work? please make it to my place tonight, I really need someone to talk to. I didn't give her a chance to agree or disagree, I hanged up and retired to bed.
Then I remembered the unread letter, I grabbed it with the last drop of strength in me.
Pulling the main message out of a medium sized brown envelope. I was amazed with my lips wide apart as I read through the content of the letter
  (Watch out for Episode 3)
      Thank you

LOVE AND PAIN

                    LOVE and PAIN
                 (Season 1 Episode 2)
by: @nicki_wonder & @shadeey_amazing


I have never been in this kind of dilemma and I thought for the first time those who actually engaged in a double dating might not be wrong as well, who knows maybe they really found themselves in this same shoe I am.
Lolu still on his kneel, I know this is going to be difficult and I am ready to stand by you as you make your decision, he said as he stood up to me. He held my two hands and maintains a direct but romantic stare at me. No one uttered a word for few seconds, all we both could do was a stare but anyone who is familiar with heart beat communication would know Lolu and I had gone in talks even with the silent.
He took a step closer to me without lowering his stares.
"what are you trying to do"? I merely finished that statement then I felt a warm,soft and sweet touching on my lips. He kissed me and I couldn't resist his succulent and dulcet lips as much as I try to stop myself from kissing him back,  my feelings is just  too big for me to control at the moment. The music from my ringing phone brought us to sanity. who could that be I thought for a while as I pretend to act as if nothing really happened. To be honest
this moment had been a fantasy for me right from the high school and even after we departed I still found myself daydreaming about this, but a lot changed in the way I pictured our first kiss, I never for once thought there could be a 'but' not even from me.
That's Dire I said to myself as I rushed to pick up my phone but it was a bit of surprise for me as i found out the caller is Ernest. Ernest has been the only visible rival Dire always have in mind,he is always scared of the fact that we spent so much time together at the office and we equally have lot of things in common which has actually been the reason I still hold on to our friendship. It wasn't really Ernest call that got me surprised and bothered but the fact that it wasn't Dire. Like I just kissed another guy who is not my boyfriend and I had no hint of suspicion from Dire. I mean Dire and I are so connected that we sense any form of threat to our relationship as soon as its about to happen.
I could vividly remember a time like that with Ernest in the office, he was supposed to help me with stuffs I really couldn't handle at the office, Ernest almost force forced a kiss on me before Dire entered and got me saved. He said he felt it in his spirit that something is about happening to me so he had to rush to my work place and there has been times I equally rescued him from such because I felt he was in danger also. This has been the extent to which I am connected with Dire. But how he couldn't feel anything this time around got me worried.
Lolu was busy smiling and feeling himself as if nothing we did was wrong, I was so irritated that I couldn't stand his presence again.
This is not right! No No! I told myself and came back to life. I stood up and told Lolu I needed to leave, he tried to persuade me to stay so that he could drop me at my place but I insisted' I told him i need to leave and i left the eatery.
leaving the eatery I wouldn't stand to see Dire also at the moment, all I wished to do was to run away from these two guys driving me crazy. I found my way back to my own apartment which was about 50km from the eatery, I stay in a self contain apartment which is largely occupied by workaholic set of people who  will leave home as early as 5am and come back as late as 11pm, this include a Saturday like this, with this I knew I was going home to nobody except the gatekeeper. As the gatekeeper opened the main entrance and we exchanged greetings, he handed over a letter he said some man dropped for me, I collected it from him but was not ready to go through another drama of reading a strange letter. I dropped the letter on the table as I got into my apartment leaving it unread. Trying to settle and regain my sanity, I had a shower and pick up the last apple I have left the the refrigerator.
Victoria is the only person that can understand and as well save me from this, Victoria and I have been good friends far back as primary school, She seem to be the only friend I've kept for that long and for that reason I believe she had the real picture of me and she understands very well my personality. It's Saturday and the time was about 5'oclock in the evening.
'She must be back from work'
I quickly picked up my phone, dialed her number 3times before she eventually responded.
Babe, what's up, are you back from work? please make it to my place tonight, I really need someone to talk to. I didn't give her a chance to agree or disagree, I hanged up and retired to bed.
Then I remembered the unread letter, I grabbed it with the last drop of strength in me.
Pulling the main message out of a medium sized brown envelope. I was amazed with my lips wide apart as I read through the content of the letter
  (Watch out for Episode 3)
      Thank you

LOVE AND PAIN

                      Love and pain
                      Season 1 (episode 1)
I met him again after a long time of departure, well how it really happened I can't give an account of. He is still as nice,calm and cool as before, he wears more confidence now and really I am seeing him with clean cute beards for the first time.
As much as Facebook helps by bringing the contact of those one may know, it has not for once brought his ( I wondered how come).
"I hope  life has been fair with you" he asked.
"Life has not been bad anyway but you know I am still in the process, it would be better soon I believe" I reply with a smile that cutely shows my dimple😋
He could smile a lot and that's equally one of the good things he kept.
        Lolu and I have been acquaintances since high school days. Enjoying the rides in the morning rush as we have a meeting place every day on our way to school. He was an amazing guy who would cross his Lane and break his laws for someone he loves. I never knew much till he started disassociating
       And I stared in his eyes asking what reasons he has to boycott all our being together but Lolu just disappeared like the breathe that leaves my nostrils.
Here now I have with me the love that shyed away from me ages back because I was hung to a random guy who seem more of a threat to him. Lolu never had the courage to speak love to me, I could see it in his eyes but he couldn't and wouldn't tell it.
       We couldn't have been nothing but perfect partners. Dire has all that I desire but not the extras Lolu throws at my face. I could see fears in his eyes when I told him Facebook reconciled Lolu and I. Informing him about the hang out was a bit difficult but I did though he objected which I expected. "Did I offend you that bad? You left me at a cross road, which took me a lot of time to pass bye"
With a soft heart and beams around his cheek, 'no volume of words or apology can erase that single wrong. I was childish I know but still no matter how much I try to explain to you,you still won't understand my pains then. I'm sorry Tife for all I've cost you.
After you came on our last day in high school asking for reasons why I was dodging us, I retired to a corner weeping my heart out blaming myself for being a coward that I was. I never knew that was going to be the last of us, I didn't see myself leaving the country as quick and I had no time to send my last words to you.
 It all appears to be a dream, Lolu speaking out his mind to me but I wouldn't want to ruin the whole scene. I listened to him while I smile inside.
Then the waiter came with a menu requesting for our orders. As we checked through, Lolu said funny words giving my ribs a treat.
We had barely spent an hour together when Dire sent a text 
''what I've feared most is happening already' .
I knew from the moment Lolu came to picture a weed has to be uprooted but which weed it will be is what I don't know. 'is everything okay darling?' were the words that shook me back to life, I was lost in thoughts. I barely could stutter I'm good with a smile. As much as I wanted Lolu and picturing life already with him, he came at the point to be a turmoil. Tife, I know I've never said how much I cherish and desire you to walk through life with me. Forgive my cowardice, he giggled. Tife, I'm sure there's a man here already but I still see us, I see us moving through the waves of life and coming out bold at the end of the tunnel. Life says it's right been with you but I say been with you is what was ordained from world beyond. I don't want to live to life's expectations because you are all I expect from living. Make life easy to live for me Tife, he said with balls of water in his eyes ready to pop out like the bullet from a pistol. I want Lolu but where do I keep Dire in all of this, my God.
I have never been in this kind of dilemma and I thought for the first time those who actually engaged in a double dating might not be wrong as well, who knows maybe they really found themselves in this same shoe I am.
Lolu still on his kneel, I know this is going to be difficult and I am ready to stand by you as you make your decision, he said as he stood up to me. He held my two hands and maintains a direct but romantic stare are me. No one utter a word for few seconds all we both could do was a stare but anyone who is familiar with heart beat communication would know Lolu and I had gone in talks even with the silent.
He took a step closer to me without lowering his stares.
"what are you trying to do"? I merely finished that statement then I felt a warm,soft and sweet touching on my lips. He kissed me and I couldn't resist his succulent and dulcet lips as much as I try to stop myself from kissing him back,  my feelings is just  too big for me to control at the moment.
we both regained our consciousness back when my phone rang. who could that be I thought for a while as I pretend to act as if nothing really happened. To be honest
this moment had been a fantasy for me right from the high school and even after we departed I still found myself daydreaming about this, but a lot changed in the way I pictured our first kiss, I never for once thought there could be a 'but' not even from me.
That's Dire I said to myself as I rushed to pick up my phone but it was a bit of surprise for me as a found out the caller is Ernest. Ernest has been the only visible rival Dire always have in mind,he is always scared of the fact that we spent so much time together at the office and we equally have lot of things in common which has actually been the reason I still hold on to our friendship. It wasn't really Ernest call that got me surprised and bothered but the fact that it wasn't Dire. Like I just kissed another guy who is not my boyfriend and I had no hint of suspicion from Dire. I mean Dire and I are so connected that we sense any form of threat to our relationship as soon as the are about to happen.
I could vividly remember a time like that with Ernest in the office, he was supposed to help me with stuffs I really couldn't handle at the office, Ernest almost force forced a kiss on me before Dire entered and got me saved. He said he felt it in his spirit that something bad is about to happen to me so he had to rush to my work place and there has been times I equally rescued him from such because I felt he was in danger also. This has been the extent to which I am connected with Dire. But how he couldn't feel anything this time around got me worried.
Lolu was busy smiling and feeling himself as if nothing we did was wrong, I was so irritated that I couldn't stand his presence again.
This is not right! No No! I told myself and come back to life. I stood up and told Lol u I needed to leave, he tried to persuad me to stay a bit longer but I wouldn't dare it, I can't still believe how I could kiss a guy who is not mine. Well I am aware of how normal this look in this century but I am not the kind of lady, cheating is one of the thing I detest the most and seeing myself in this same mess is still shocking
' I need  space to think about everything right now ' I told him and left the eatery.

leaving the eatery I wouldn't stand to see Dire also at the moment, all I wished to do was to run away from these two guys driving me crazy. I found my way back to my own apartment which was about 50km from the eatery, I stay in a self contain apartment which is largely occupied by workaholic set of people who  will leave home as early as 5am and come back as late as 11pm, this include a Saturday like this, with this I knew I was going home to nobody but myself. I opened the gate and walked like a drunk fellow to my apartment wad about opening the door when noticed a note dropped at my entrance, I picked up the note but was not ready to go through another drama of reading a strange letter. I dropped the letter on the table as I entered my apartment (without reading it). Trying to settle and regain my sanity, I had a shower and pick up the last apple I have left the the refrigerator.
Victoria is the only person that can understand and as well save me from this, Victoria and I has been a good friend as far back as primary school, She seems to be the only friend have kept for that long and for that reason I believe she had the real picture of me and she understands very well my kind of person. Its Saturday and the time was about 5'oclock in the evening.
'She must have come back from work'
I quickly picked up my phone, I dailed her number 3times before she eventually picked up.
Babe, good evening, are you back from work? please make it to my place tonight, I really need someone to talk to. I didn't give her a chance to to agree or disagree, I hanged up and retire to my bed.
Then I remember I a have a letter to read

Written by Olatayo Nickiwonder Iyanuoluwa and Olabisi Folashade